Dealing With Family Break Ups The Right Way

I might be happily married, but I have plenty of friends who aren’t. I guess when it comes to family breakups and divorce, no one expects it to happen to them. Recently, quite a few of my close friends have gone through divorces and marriage breakdowns. I’ve seen how it’s affected them and their children, and how they’re struggled to know what to do. It’s an unimaginable situation and you wouldn't wish it on anyone but unfortunately it is a reality many people face.

With this in mind, I thought that today, I would share some advice about all the best ways to get through a family breakup. Including how you can help your children to cope, and work out what living arrangements are best for everyone. (I’ve done lots of research about this so that I can give you all the essential info that you need.)

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Kids tend to take breakups hardest and often blame themselves

Before you tell your child about your breakup, it’s best to speak to your ex-partner. Discuss how you should tell them and whether it’s best that you’re both there - in most cases it is. The chances are that your child will take your break up hard, and may even blame themselves for what’s happened. Make sure to tell your child that the breakup is in no way their fault, regardless of how naughty or difficult they were.

The chances are that your child will grieve over the breakup, leading to tears, tantrums and sometimes even anger. You may find that your child is fine one day, and then in a real state the next. This is all a perfectly natural part of the grieving process, he or she will soon accept the changes. It just takes time; that’s all.

Helping your child cope can be hard

It’s important to realise that at first, your kids will need lots of support. Your kids may act out both emotionally and physically, as a way of showing their distress. You need to be there for your child, to help them through what’s happening.

If you’re struggling to get by yourself, don’t make the mistake of leaning on your child for support. Get in touch with a therapist or chat to your friends about what’s going on, but never talk to your child about it. If you want your child to be okay and to get through your breakup, you need to make it as easy for them as possible.

Ask your child what they want

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The hardest part of dealing with a family breakup is working out where your child should live. Should they spend most of their time with you and only see your ex-partner every other weekend? Or should the two of you share custody? It’s a case of thinking about what works best for you as a family, as well as what your children want.

If both you and your ex-partner want custody of your kids, that’s where trouble can arise. If you can’t be amicable about it, it’s best to consult a specialist firm, like Kim Wilson & Co Family Law Services. By consulting a lawyer, you and your ex-partner can work out a fair custody agreement that gives you both access to your little ones. It’s more than worth using a family law service if you can’t be amicable. As it makes things much easier and less stressful for your children.

Never criticise your ex-partner

Whatever you do, never criticise your ex-partner in front of your children. Regardless of what they’ve done or the reason you broke up, always refrain from being nasty about your child’s other parent, in front of them. If you say mean things about their other parent, you child may begin to resent you for it.

Family breakups are hard for everyone involved, but if you deal with things the right way, you can make it easier for your little ones to deal with.