Why You Should Never Become A Pushy Parent

Many parents have a dream that their offspring will one day win the Nobel Peace Prize, discover a cure for cancer or write a best selling novel. We want the best for our little darlings, and often we translate this into doing well academically, getting the best results in the classroom and heading off to university and achieving a first class honours degree. However, for your little darlings, the world of academia may be horrendously difficult to navigate. Not all children fit the mould when it comes to school. They may struggle with maths, find spelling and grammar ridiculously difficult and simply have no inclination to study. This doesn’t mean that they are lazy or disengaged; it simply means that their talents may lie elsewhere.

Every one of us wants to be a supportive parent, whether that means cheering your little footballing hero on from the sidelines or helping them revise for their science exam. The notion of being supportive only becomes problematic if it transcends into becoming pushy. Just because you love drama and quite fancy the idea of your little cherub becoming a thespian doesn't mean you should be whipping a ponytail on them and sending them off to theatre school. Take a look at why you should never allow yourself to become that pushy parent.

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By all means, offer to help your adolescent offspring construct a revision timetable but don’t keep harping on at them about it twenty four hours a day. Push too much, and you could meet resistance that is hard to break down. Although it can be difficult, you must let your child study, revise or put in the effort in their own time. Making mistakes and recognising failure is one of life’s lessons that everyone must learn. While it can be tricky watching the error of not revising unfold, you can feel safe in the knowledge that this mistake won’t repeat itself.

If you push and force your child down a path they don’t wish to travel, resentment can set in. This is the worst sort of relationship to have with your child. They will try to avoid you, not make conversation with you and may even rebel. Not every child is academic with some choosing to focus their energies instead into vocational qualifications or sport. Whatever it is they are putting their effort into and showing commitment to, be there to support, guide and encourage. If they love woodwork, get them some tools and a bench to work on at home. If they adore animals, see if you can get them some work experience at the local vet surgery. If they want to exploit their speed when running, take them to an athletics club for a trial.


If your child is keen to do well in the classroom but is struggling with a specific subject, sit down with them and talk about what they feel may help them succeed. Sometimes, a more nuanced and one on one approach to learning can boost progress at school. Consider hiring an experienced and qualified maths tutor to engage your child with their learning. Often children take on a defeatist attitude because they achieve low grades or are told they cannot do something and their self esteem can take a real battering. A tutor can unlock their love for learning once again and teach them using a different pedagogy and teaching style. Securing a boost to their learning can ensure they achieve the grades needed to move onto the next tier of their education without feeling immense amounts of pressure in the classroom.

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Mental Health

In the twenty first century, the stigma of mental health is being well and truly shattered and rightly so. However, children can still suffer the consequences of feelings of inadequacy that can have a detrimental impact on their mental health. As a loving parent, you need to watch out for the signs of depression, anxiety, and low self esteem. This is not the time to nag about studying, demand homework is completed as soon as they return from school or push them to take up a hobby that you want to see them succeed at.

Remember that you should be empowering your kids to follow their dreams, not fulfil your own. Be supportive, take an active interest in their passions and encourage them to maintain a have a go attitude. There can be nothing more heartwarming than seeing your child succeed in their chosen field, be happy and content, and loving life.

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